If someone were to ask me, “What do you stand for?,” it might take me a while to answer. It is certainly a challenging question which requires introspection and careful thought. I think as I considered my answer, however, I would discover that it isn’t necessarily quite the same question as, “What do you believe?” It’s much bigger than that. Perhaps the real question should be, “What do you believe enough that you are willing to risk being unpopular or even criticized for your position?”
Often, we may give others the impression that we stand for something when, actually, we haven’t really given it much thought at all. Perhaps it’s just that we’ve followed the crowd, which sometimes may seem like the easiest and most comfortable route to take. Or sometimes, even though we want to do the right thing, our actions and the choices we make tell a different story. The reality is that often, despite our best intentions, we might find it difficult to truly stand for the things we feel in our hearts, because we fear what others might think.
In order to be convicted and sure enough in our beliefs to act, we must do some soul-searching and then act intentionally. Acting intentionally requires an element of not only honesty, but also bravery. In this passage, when the woman asked Peter if he was one of Jesus’ disciples, I imagine Peter found himself deeply conflicted. He had been a disciple of Jesus for a long time, yet when it came time to take a stand publicly, he chickened out. He denied Jesus by telling the woman, “I am not.” In a split second, Peter took the easy way out, to save himself. He was not honest with Jesus, and he was not true to himself. Rather than stay by Jesus’ side, Peter chose to huddle around the fire and warm himself with the slaves and the police. I wonder what Peter was feeling at that moment, after denying Jesus.
When this type of situation happens to me, and I act as Peter did, I feel guilty, weak and disappointed. I realize that I haven’t been brave enough to be honest with myself. I’ve created a disconnect between what I believe in my heart and what I could or should achieve through my actions. This passage has made me think about these questions in the context of my own life. I will definitely be examining myself this Lenten season and asking for God’s help. Even though it might be hard, I will be asking God to help me do a better job of letting my actions reflect my beliefs, to be honest with myself and others, and most of all, to not be afraid.
—Catherine Blundell
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