Sometimes… I just don’t “get it.” I mean, in my better moments I really do want to be a faithful disciple of Jesus. But time and again, I seem to falter. My record as a faithful disciple of Jesus is, frankly, less than stellar. Thank God for Mark’s Gospel and his account of those first disciples – time and again, they just don’t “get it” either!
In the beginning of Mark’s narrative, they seem to be stellar models of discipleship: literally dropping everything immediately to respond to Jesus’ call to follow him. It must have been terribly exciting to follow this charismatic preacher, with front row seats to his healings and many miracles.
Half way through Mark’s Gospel, we seem to hit the high water mark for discipleship when Peter boldly declares to Jesus: “You are the Messiah”! Except… right when Peter and the others think everything is on the up and up, it all starts going south. Jesus tells them to keep the “Messiah” talk quiet, and then foretells what He believes “Messiah” really means: suffering, rejection and death.
Not exactly what the disciples had in mind… so Peter naturally takes Jesus aside and pleads with Him, desperately trying to get Jesus back on track. But Jesus won’t hear of it: “Get behind me Satan!”
What a staggering reversal. That’s the context for this call to discipleship:
If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Hey, if I’m one of the disciples at this point in the Story, I don’t think I’m on board with this. In fact, they weren’t. In the second half of Mark’s Gospel, they misunderstand Jesus again and again. He speaks of suffering, losing, and of being last – yet they want to know which of them is the greatest. James and John jockey to see if they can sit on his right and his left side “in glory.”
Three separate times he foretells His path of suffering and death. They doubt this is the right Way. They are afraid. They fall asleep when he needs them most. By the end of the journey, as the Cross looms ahead, Judas has betrayed Him, Peter has denied Him, and all the rest have fallen away.
Is it just me, or can you see yourself in those first disciples? I’ve sure had my share of doubts. I’m afraid to take up a cross. I really do prefer glory to suffering and shame. Can I truly say I’ve never denied Him, never betrayed Him, never fallen away from Him? No, I can’t.
I guess that is precisely why I kneel in grateful, loving, appreciative awe of this Messiah, this Jesus. Even though the disciples, all of them, gave up on Him, Jesus never gave up on them. He came back.
I like how Kimberly Clayton Richter puts it in the Spiritual Formation Bible: “It is precisely to such disciples, to us, that Jesus makes a resurrection promise he will keep: he is going ahead of us. We will see him. We are still included! Jesus does not give up on us, but urges us to keep going, to meet him in Galilee and everywhere else he appears in the world.”
In spite of my lack of discipleship, I’m still included. Jesus just keeps… coming… back.
For me. For you.
—Michael Rothermel
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