Romans 7:15. I do not
understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing
I hate.
During group sharing at the recent St. Thomas women’s
retreat, one attendee remarked about the importance of “just showing up.” Those
words have stayed with me. Just show up.
Showing up for worship services is wonderful, but Lent
also means going deeper in my spiritual journey. What more can I do? I have
great intentions. For example, I would like to spend more time reading
scripture and meditating on Christ. I would like to make outward sacrifices
that take me out of my comfort zone so I can be more in tune with God’s love
for me and the world. I would like to … I would like to … I would like to …
There will be times
this Lenten season where I do “show up” and do things that deepen my Christian
life. But I also know there will be plenty of times I will not do the things I
want to do, but will succumb to the tyranny of the urgent. Again, I know what I want to do, but I do
not do it.
The key for me is to “just show up.” Not just physically,
but to be very present to the Presence. In her book The Sacred Gaze,
Susan Pitchford offers many ideas and tools I find helpful. Opening scripture
or a book like Pitchford’s is a meaningful way of “just showing up” for me. And
when I do, Jesus always shows up, easing my frustrations about not getting it
right, not doing what I want, but doing those things that disappoint. His loving
Presence shows up and I am blessed
—Stephanie
Curry
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